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On the Lighter Side The Magic Art of Lapidary webIt was Tuesday when I walked into the Lapidary workshop at an RV Resort in the Rio Grande Valley; I was early for my interview with the Rockhound club president.

The workshop walls were lined with machines. Machines for cutting and polishing rocks and gemstones. It is here that the magic art of turning rocks and gemstones into small decorative pieces of artwork takes place.

A man covered in dust, looking like an apparition from the Flintstones, peered at me out of dust-covered glasses; his face did not have wrinkles; it had fault lines. The name Jake was carved on his name badge.
“Can I help you?” mumbled Jake.

"Yes," I replied, “My name is Malcolm; I am from the Winter Texan Times; I have an appointment with the President of the RGV Lapidary Club. Can you tell me where I can find her?”

“Malcolm,” he repeated to himself as if memorizing a slice of marble, as he turned and walked away.

I called loudly after this man who appeared to be stone-deaf. "Where do I find the president?”

He looked at me over his shoulder and pointed to the end of the workshop. "Ms. Brown, she’s in the Opal office.”

Once seated in Ms. Browns Opal Office, I explained that I was looking for stories related to the art Lapidary and rock collectors known as Rockhounds.

“Give me just a couple of minutes,” She replied, “I will dig some up.”

Q1. “Ms. Brown,” I asked, “What, in your opinion, is the main characteristic required in a good Rockhound?”

She smiled, “Oh, that's easy. They must be Sedimental.”

Q2. “Ms. Brown, I think of Rockhounds as having no sense of humor. Why do you think that is?”

She thought about this before explaining. “It’s probably because Rockhounds take nothing for Granite.”

Q3. “Ms. Brown, do you expect perfection in the cutting and polishing rocks from everyone who joins the club?” I asked.

“Oh No,” she said, “They are just normal people, and we all have faults?”

Q4. “Ms. Brown, I must ask, why do you play that music so loud in the workshop?”

She smiled and said, “That’s not music, that is the Rolling Stones, they belong here, they are a Rock Band.”

Q5. “Ms. Brown, as you have a Rock Band playing in the workshop, does the Rockhound club have a favorite movie?”

She got up, went to the door, and waved to Jake as she explained, “I don’t watch movies myself, I like hard facts, but let’s ask Jake; he likes movies.”

So, when Jake entered the Opal office, she slowly asked him the question.

With a big smile that cracked the stone dust on his face, Jake answered immediately.

“Pyrites of the Caribbean, of course, is the favorite movie of the Rockhounds of the RGV.”

My interview ended, and I was caught between a Rock and a Hard Place.

How would I produce a polished article from this?